“PAWrR-RI-TIC’s? RUH-ROH!” BRING BACK ‘MAJOR’, MAJOR’S GAFFES WERE MINOR, or: DOGS OF HISTORY! MAKE DOGS GREAT AGAIN, PART II, YEAR FOF THE DOG..the White House! the White House a wreck, it’s in total disarray, everyday it only gets worser. Their first lady’s a dead ringer for Keith Richards in a blonde wig minus the ‘Strat’, Mister ‘resident can’t swing a nine-iron to save a life; and cooks in the kitchen, there, daily preparing corn flakes for the regular meal, “That’s all they’re asking for! he’s the president so what I’m s’posed to do about it!!” Where’s the jelly-bean diplomacy? what happened to “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!” It’s gone to the dogs,TO THE DOGS! we need ‘Major’ back! Badly! what were some minor lacerations on arms and legs of a few Secret Service..compared with this! Okay, I guess Dee-Cee don’t do re-runs, gotta keep things moving along, fresh and lively, there; so next, for the sake of some NWO-prescribed subterfuge..any morning now, GOOD MORNING AMERICA! they’ll have’em over, the white house will, all the ‘friendlies’ from among the journalistic folk and their ilk to run their story on the Bidens’ blessed event, a new puppy! to divert away from damage control, don’t worry what breed it don’t matter. Can’t be a Irish Setter, though, Ford already did that one with his pooch ‘Liberty’ having a whole litter of little liberty’s running around the White House doing minute poo-poo’s all over the carpets – liberally – to deflect away from pardoning Nixon and his dogs, one of whom, according to some ‘leaks’ that got leaked (per the NYT’s), barked the seminal command to bomb Cambodia; and also wasn’t it, probably I think, a dog of Ford’s who was on the grassy knoll that fell November day? Alibi heard, was, “..had to take a leak” (and that was the dog’s name, too! ‘Alibi’). And yet another of Dick Nixon’s dogs, a ‘golden’ Golden Retriever I believe it might have been, spoke the marching orders to send Kissinger to Paris for the peace negotiations, so-called, –Richard Milhouse Nixon: “Goldie, now come on now, nice doggy..Speak!” “Rr-rend Rhen-ry!” And so it went; but that trip (Linda Tripp) was a dog..in terms of our foreign policy; we got the hell out of Dodge, left all the stuff there, and never did get our MIA’s and other covenanted concessions through, as signed and agreed to by Zhou “Joe” Enlai and the chi-com’s, –Bad dogs! So anyway, before it all came to the screeching, grinding end of everything with that, and the plumbers, and Watergate, and Liddy; and all of the rest, all the Nixon dogs..and Dick and Pat and Julie and everybody – David Eisenhower, also – were seen around the White House special Christmas tree for a special photo-op that Christmas; and the president..RMN, himself feeling very special, was kissing dogs while U.S. bombs were getting rained down over meek and diminutive asian peasants that just wanted to stay safe and peaceful in their black p-j’s in a neighboring country that was not part of their conflict (“They’re all bad dogs, no training ’em!” ~Nixon); and it can’t be whatever kind of breed Obamma’s had for cover, to cover-up all the news-reports of relatives from Kenya, here in The Republic..everywhere running amok (it was Labra-doodle’s, paper-trained on liberal scab-sheets..like the New York Times! shilling for thee Obammas!! and they’re s’posed to be such smart dogs, Oy!), –no, it’ll have to be something different, a mutt, a mongrel! a mix-breed of indeterminate origin, yeah, that’ll do it, it’ll work..I wonder, what kind of dog Loretta Fuddy might have had with her on that ill-fated airplane, circling around..Hawaii! like ‘Peppermint Patty’ when she got Ron-brown’d out (whatever). So the president’s dragging it, the pokey little puppy, reluctantly out behind him on the leach, sliding it up with him – helped by his assistants – across such finely polished floors! of the white-house main room to microphones spread out in front of the podium, capital work! accomplished by top security clearance janitors from El Salvador, and Honduras (and recently a few fortunate Guantanamo releasee’s) and makes the announcement (Joe does), –Joe: “Uh, morning,Good morning everybody, good to see you all here, uh,JOE! LOOK AT NOTES WHILE YOU SPEAK LIKE YOU ARE READING THEM (Jill cutting in hissing her words, –“Joe! Don’t SAY the parts that’s all-CAP’s.”) Oh. Right, let’s see now..I uh, I have a few New Years’ resolutions I’d, ah, like to mention. Things are going to be different around here, now. No more drifty, rambling, goofy, ga-ga gaff-up’s in front of the cameras going out to all our enemigo’s around the globe, uh, globalists no more improperly sniffing hair on heads of ladies and children; and heads of state..no more Corn Pop’s for breakfast, just steak&eggs only!” and Jill’s standing bravely beside him, standing by her man throughout it all no matter what, expecting a cue to jump in any minute to keep things going, –Snap-krackly-pop! and on track with the new dog introductions. What can go wrong? after two years of this slimy sloppy train-wreck in Washington, what can astonish?? We shall see. “So, ladies and gentlemen,” Joe’s saying, “..we have an announcement we’re gonna be making, shortly, um! sharing with you all our happiness on this historic moment in our nation’s developments; and I’m sure Ka-mala, our Commanderess’s-in-Chief, would’ve liked to’ve been here to share it with us as well but she couldn’t she’s out on an important diplomatic overseas mission that is very top-sec-rety and nobody can know what she is doing over there with the mullah’s and general’s and other dignitaries high up in command over everything because it might queer-up the whole deal to open the trade agreement for nu-que-ler weapons to Iran, that’s uhh, it’s strickly private! generally speaking, eh..” Jill: “Uh, Joe..” “..thats gonna be in exchange for releasing the rest of the freedom fighters that have been separated from their families all these years and highly improperly I might add and not even spending Christmas ever since Operation Desert Iraqi Storm, fum-fum-fum..Freedom!” Jill:”JOE! LOOK AT THE SCREENS!!” “..and the enhanced surfboarding techniques and all of the rest of it there at our illegal detention facility in violation of the Geneva Conference Act at Guantenemo Bay run with CIA and other bad actors we inherited from Bush, uh, bushes administration..uhh, Blackwater; and a terrible economy! REPEAT TERRIBLE, terrible (Jill shakes head), it’s terrible, folks. And it’s bushes fault we inherited all that crap and a disaster of a, a pronoun deficit in our military that we got ah, when we, me and Barrack and the team were elected in ’08 and we had to rescue the company, uhh, country and all the rest..there’s, uh, –” Jill: “Um, Joe..the dog?” “Ohh, oh yeah I have an important announcement we’re very excited and pleased to announce our new baby here in the white house..” CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! “..it’s a dog. Thank you, thank you all very much, I’m sure you all want to share our joy at this very special and happy moment and now let me introduce to everyone our new puppy, this, it’s ah, pitbull dog mix and was a rescue dog they got us that was going to be destroyed for no good reason and he will help us with our deep-state, uh! uhh, what am I saying, our deep grief, help, our sadness deep sadness about losing ‘Major’ our German shepherd, yes our beloved dog Major who was a very good dog, he just had a few problems around here, right, Jill? some minor problems Major had but he’s in dog heaven now, all dogs go to heaven when they go to sleep I believe, with a needle with all my heart, I believe, and there’s no bad dogs, just bad terrorists of the extreme-right destroying our country..’SAY ‘COUNTRY’ WITH SOLEMN EMPHASIS’ (Jill slaps her forehead). But I am not going to go into that and January 6 and the insurrection, –We will never forget! all of that that almost destroyed our democratic institutions of democracy and equalities and our diverse protections for diverse, renewable energy’s and uh, sus-sus-sustainable agencies on the front lines defending us against the global warming and measles and chicken-pox and helping everybody with paying their taxes, their fair share and all of that, no! dam it, we’re..” “Joe the dog.” “Oh yeah, sorry. So here I am we are happy to announce our new Dog we hope we know you will all love him we sure will his name is ‘Lieutenant’ we named him Lieutenant after a very special person that helped us get here where we are today and he’s a good boy, –doesn’t somebody have a mask for the Lieutenant..so he doesn’t get sick from the doggy-flu? and have to go take a lab-leak..and then take him to the vet and, and and anyway, –so Lieutenant, we just got him and he has already learned a trick, say Hi to all the nice reporters, Lieutenant..well speak, boy! Lieutenant..speak,SPEAK!!” Lieutenant: “Rats KERNEL-Roo-ten-ant to roo! rr-rat face rying Rozo!!” Jill: “Bad dog!!”