0cean; a player piano; the fish-ees, and you. 0ur new home and no money down..Way down!!

See? I never learned how to play the piano, here in the sea, this player-piano, here, so I just install a player piano-roll, pump on the pedals a little, and play some rag-time..just like on my air-guitar. It’s not as convincing, though, cause you can see the keys go down where my hand isn’t even close! I guess I have to practice my ‘air-piano technique’ more so I can play it better..blowing bubbles. Underwater. That’s the part that really makes it, it’s real visual, you know..bubbles? Then maybe they’ll stop throwing vegetables at me, like sea-cucumbers; and kelp, –KELP! KELP! Them fishees are a tough room to work. A very discriminating crowd..I guess that’s cause they went with schools, rim-shot! Oh, here’s ‘Great White’. You, sir! Take my, my life..please! Thanks..you’ve been a great audience. So, Babe..how do you like it down here so far? The price is right..but it’s kind of clammy, isn’t it? They didn’t show me where the thermostat is that controls the central underwater heating, maybe behind this rock..I feel something there, I’ll give it a little twist OUCH! nope. Moray eel. Okay, skip the thermostat. Can you please do me a big personal favor and help me get this guy off my hand? Thanks.

Kelp. Caught in the kelp.

It’s still cold, huh? Tell you what, let’s walk up this sand hill, heats s’posed to rise, maybe it’ll be warmer up there. Yes, that is a sensible difference..does not depend how you define IS, ha-ha, Oops! Don’t wake up that whale! He might roll over on us. That would not be good..have to pull us out with some Baleen wire, hahh! Well, how you like it here in our new digs so far? The good news is the realtor is not going to show up at our door with the marshall and lock us out; the bad news is it’s still cold. I’d make you a fire but I don’t see any dry wood..no fireplace anyway. Are you getting hungry? There’s no DEL TACO close. And the car still doesn’t start; but I think I got it diagnosed..water in the gas OWW! stepped on a sting-ray, dang! that’ll teach me. How long we been down here? Is it Valentine’s Day, yet? I love you, Baby. Give me a kiss..big, wet one, NO! too wet. Now I got water up my nose. Still cold, starting to shiver..Shiver me timbers! our free mortgage is underwater. Tell you what, maybe we’re not cut out for life in the sea, see? I’ll call AAA and get us a tow to the beach..no, that’s no good, they don’t let you ride in the cab no more cause of COVID, or WUHAN..whatever. (That’s with the under-toe..from Chi-na! all the way from China’s sea..see?) Oh well, we can walk. The exercise’ll be good for us. You’re looking a little flabby, just kidding! No! I’m kidding..I said it for joke! Wha-el ha-el. Look at me..look at me. See this face? See these blubbery lips? They’re saying, “You’re the cutest mermaid I seen all day!” So! let’s hoof it back to the dryer parts and check into a room and we can order food from free room-service..for FREE! The government’ll pay it all, all we have to do is say we’re illegal aliens from the sea..and we got separated from our family’s, at the border reef. That’ll fix it. And it’ll be handled. And you won’t have to worry, Sugar. Anyway, I’ve had it with the great outdoors..underwater. How ’bout you..Babe?

Published by scrunchymacscruff

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