~c. –c. 1984 B.C., Before Christ
Author Archives: scrunchymacscruff
Poetry-contests! what a lot of hooey!! (they are). I got taken in by one of those things once, well..not I, but my family and friends did, they purchased OUR WESTERN WORLD’S GREATEST POEMS from Edie Lou Cole and her Cole-leagues, her Cole-conspirators – thespians, the lot of them! – ’cause one of my poems I sent them was very good! good enough to be included – so they said – in that great volume, soon to be published (with my permission of course); although not good enough to win the Prize and the cash, but it was there, alright, in the fat volume when it arrived..scrunched down onto a page with forty other poems the size of your thumb from poet hopeful’s the wide world of poetry over, which believed Vincent Price, Esq., Mr. Poetry himself! when he gave his endorsement for it, saying, “This is a real important poetry, Ahem! contest.” (for a basic financial consideration..that had a gag order). And so on and so on..so waht is
what is a poetry contest? (Depends how you define IS) And how do you decide who won it (between the finalists being considered for the ‘big hair’-like crown); and what immediately comes to mind as being the correct answer for that is: 0ne sucks..and the other sucks a little bit less harder, ha-ha. Poets! wakeContinue reading “Poetry-contests! what a lot of hooey!! (they are). I got taken in by one of those things once, well..not I, but my family and friends did, they purchased OUR WESTERN WORLD’S GREATEST POEMS from Edie Lou Cole and her Cole-leagues, her Cole-conspirators – thespians, the lot of them! – ’cause one of my poems I sent them was very good! good enough to be included – so they said – in that great volume, soon to be published (with my permission of course); although not good enough to win the Prize and the cash, but it was there, alright, in the fat volume when it arrived..scrunched down onto a page with forty other poems the size of your thumb from poet hopeful’s the wide world of poetry over, which believed Vincent Price, Esq., Mr. Poetry himself! when he gave his endorsement for it, saying, “This is a real important poetry, Ahem! contest.” (for a basic financial consideration..that had a gag order). And so on and so on..so waht is”
My love, oh! my darling, I must, you know, dearest Clementine, continue to wear the deep-sea divers’ shoes with the lead soles to keep my feet firmly on this dry earth; and not float away, with these feelings I get being here with you. I may have to, additionally, strap the tanks on my back, –yeah, the Russian tanks! a nice pair of them, to keep me here, I feel so light-headed from your presence beside me next to the fire; in fact, it may actually take a regular nuclear attack submarine, crew, and the full compliment of atomic missiles – multiple warheads and all – chained to my ankle to supply me enough ballast..so you don’t, –Fly Me To The Moon! See? You do that to me, you see, –here! let me play that tune for you on my new tenor saxophone, the new old one you got me for the physical therapy, “DA-DA! DA-DA! DAHH..” right? Now! when we were kids back in the last millennium, we used to create lots of stuff together, you and I (you and me..heckle the politicians) and travel, –didn’t we! We took some trips, did the poetry thing and made lots of music together, beautiful music..great! seals along the Oregon coast serenading us for our honeymoon, throw ’em a fish. So now, what of that has changed? You have! You have changed, and you have only gotten better, and my health-related reporting has filled in some heavy books with my medical histories. First! first there was the eye-thing, that was first..involving the shot-gun..remember?? (sawed-off). Then,
and then there was nothing I can think of, for a very long time..Oh yes! and after that there was the ripe old age of 40, hit; and, of a sudden! the alarms went off, all the bells and whistles and we heard the order to..DIVE! Doctor opened the door to our exam-room, came in,Continue reading “My love, oh! my darling, I must, you know, dearest Clementine, continue to wear the deep-sea divers’ shoes with the lead soles to keep my feet firmly on this dry earth; and not float away, with these feelings I get being here with you. I may have to, additionally, strap the tanks on my back, –yeah, the Russian tanks! a nice pair of them, to keep me here, I feel so light-headed from your presence beside me next to the fire; in fact, it may actually take a regular nuclear attack submarine, crew, and the full compliment of atomic missiles – multiple warheads and all – chained to my ankle to supply me enough ballast..so you don’t, –Fly Me To The Moon! See? You do that to me, you see, –here! let me play that tune for you on my new tenor saxophone, the new old one you got me for the physical therapy, “DA-DA! DA-DA! DAHH..” right? Now! when we were kids back in the last millennium, we used to create lots of stuff together, you and I (you and me..heckle the politicians) and travel, –didn’t we! We took some trips, did the poetry thing and made lots of music together, beautiful music..great! seals along the Oregon coast serenading us for our honeymoon, throw ’em a fish. So now, what of that has changed? You have! You have changed, and you have only gotten better, and my health-related reporting has filled in some heavy books with my medical histories. First! first there was the eye-thing, that was first..involving the shot-gun..remember?? (sawed-off). Then,”
DESTABLIZING RUSSIA: IS IT A GOOD IDEA? A Whole New Fascists’ World Order of Idiots Seem to Think So (isolating Russians by banning their participation from the International Cat-show)..and me? I’m just the guy who stays home, I live on the couch. I try and not rock the boat. I stay out of the local politics, I stay out of the county politics..I stay out of the way of the fire-chief (I wind up in FB jail). So what do I know? nothing! I
I’ll just say this about that..the last time we had an administration that was bucking for creating a giant power vacuum in distant lands, we wound up with Arab Spring and a blonde lady reporter getting gang raped over there as an example of what to look forward to with our new migrant neighbors whenContinue reading “DESTABLIZING RUSSIA: IS IT A GOOD IDEA? A Whole New Fascists’ World Order of Idiots Seem to Think So (isolating Russians by banning their participation from the International Cat-show)..and me? I’m just the guy who stays home, I live on the couch. I try and not rock the boat. I stay out of the local politics, I stay out of the county politics..I stay out of the way of the fire-chief (I wind up in FB jail). So what do I know? nothing! I”
The kind of boy my wife married, this, –This morning I had one of those dreams, dreaming back to a simpler time when I dreamt under a cold war weather system about getting bombed by the Russians and me and my family was running in disarray under forest fire skies of dark amber, filled with noise of invisible machines droning in the heaven, in a recurring dream..that kept happening; and then a big bomb cratered the earth beneath my feet, and teetering precariously, there, I was swallowed by the pit; I clambered up the side of the muddy hole and clutching the rim could see Dad and Mom and Sister through the heavy atmosphere, running away in the distance; and I yelled after them but they couldn’t hear (me..I’ll write the dream down now before it evaporates into foggy obscurity, here is what happened): I got up to go to the bathroom around four A.M. and went back to bed wide awake. I thought, “How can I be productive, lying
here thinking of coffee?” I petted Steve’s cat, then lightly turned the page from wakeful, early morning consciousness back onto a serene landscape of peaceful slumbers..and seen a vision. They aks’d me to join the team and play ball with them (baseball, they needed a pitcher), and I absolutely do not play baseball; or anyContinue reading “The kind of boy my wife married, this, –This morning I had one of those dreams, dreaming back to a simpler time when I dreamt under a cold war weather system about getting bombed by the Russians and me and my family was running in disarray under forest fire skies of dark amber, filled with noise of invisible machines droning in the heaven, in a recurring dream..that kept happening; and then a big bomb cratered the earth beneath my feet, and teetering precariously, there, I was swallowed by the pit; I clambered up the side of the muddy hole and clutching the rim could see Dad and Mom and Sister through the heavy atmosphere, running away in the distance; and I yelled after them but they couldn’t hear (me..I’ll write the dream down now before it evaporates into foggy obscurity, here is what happened): I got up to go to the bathroom around four A.M. and went back to bed wide awake. I thought, “How can I be productive, lying”
I’m keeping all the books..because at least then, when they burn’em I still got my copies
For example, The Life of George Washington by George Washington Irving (in four volumes). ~c.
NOT NOW! I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF A ROTHSCHILD’S CHANNELING MARK TWAIN!!Da Greeks, da Greeks..it’s all Greek (ta me). I gotta Greek’s cat sitting next to me, Steve’s cat. Does that make him a Greek, too? He sees the letters I’m typing – in anglaise – popping on the monitor-screen, steady as she goes, trying to catch them as they pop..POP-POP! stretching out his white paw (Hey! so’s my paw, my pop! he’s white..what now, what’s next?) He don’t know what’s up, it’s like, cartoons..to a cat, I guess. And he is a cat. All white (and it does not matter how you define A L L). Greeks were like that, wit fair complexions and good grammar, “Meow!” His name that was given to him by Steve (Steve, a Greek) is ‘Eli’. We call him ‘Kracker’ though, for short; also ‘Whitey’ and ‘White-bread’ for the same reasons; although actually his tail’s black (so is he a Greek, or a Ethiopian?) His tail’s probably as long as the rest of him, so that’s 50+50%=100%, –other than that you can cut off the tail and then he’s all white, a white HONKIE cat. “..Get back! honkie-cat, get back! honkie-cat, –Get back!” (Now we,
but now we, we don’t need to be getting into that long grocery-list of epithets and labels concerning Elton John, Sir Elton John! and his ilk; and all their pronouns, steaming down the yellow brick road, “Well I! quit those days and my, redneck ways..and Oh!” and please believe me, I mean nothing personal inContinue reading “NOT NOW! I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF A ROTHSCHILD’S CHANNELING MARK TWAIN!!Da Greeks, da Greeks..it’s all Greek (ta me). I gotta Greek’s cat sitting next to me, Steve’s cat. Does that make him a Greek, too? He sees the letters I’m typing – in anglaise – popping on the monitor-screen, steady as she goes, trying to catch them as they pop..POP-POP! stretching out his white paw (Hey! so’s my paw, my pop! he’s white..what now, what’s next?) He don’t know what’s up, it’s like, cartoons..to a cat, I guess. And he is a cat. All white (and it does not matter how you define A L L). Greeks were like that, wit fair complexions and good grammar, “Meow!” His name that was given to him by Steve (Steve, a Greek) is ‘Eli’. We call him ‘Kracker’ though, for short; also ‘Whitey’ and ‘White-bread’ for the same reasons; although actually his tail’s black (so is he a Greek, or a Ethiopian?) His tail’s probably as long as the rest of him, so that’s 50+50%=100%, –other than that you can cut off the tail and then he’s all white, a white HONKIE cat. “..Get back! honkie-cat, get back! honkie-cat, –Get back!” (Now we,”
Fishermen, fishermen rise before the dawn and pursue..a dream! their dream is fish. So it is with a poet, he has his wish..by the sea, –perchance to dream, to dream his wish (a sand-wish). In the open sea-market by the sea..by the sea! by the sea, the fishermen land their boat-fulls of fish..their catch; and disembark! present their wares for all to see, –an offering to a village to prove their worth (and pick up some babes). A poet! the one who knew it, wrote what he saw, recites what he wrote. The fish the fishermen brought and did not sell, begin to smell, well! the poet, –you know it! ‘s in the same boat with the fish (death, and dearth)..he’s up a tree you see. So! did I get my wish? C’est la vie!* Mein herz, mein fisch! mein hair (mein twaddle), what?Achilles felt – trying to take the bowel movement on that distant and hostile shore with Paris’ arrow stuck in the heel while Ajax and everybody watch’d..stonily – at just around sunrise (when he may have sed), “Ah, Dios! ‘snow biggie, piggies, pi..Pi=(X)” Find that and you’re good! thanks, thank yu-u-u-u!! Yu-ban a great audience..God bless.
*Such is life, you know and short..shut up and make me a dam sammich.
Mid-December, another heat wave hit. The dog’s in heat, we’re in heat, everybody’s in heat. Civilization’s..neat!
the End ~c. ps: Uhn, –whatever.
A poem
A poem to win your heart, which – when read – does not resemble a fart; as a poet, I’ll do my part..till death do us part. Merry Christmas! well, it’s a start. ~c. (a poet)
Scruffy's..Blurgh! 